song then remaining 2 Cockroaches dies..
do you know why?
because ASHIK BANAYA is a HIT song
Submitted by Ritu Prabhakar
He asked "How can you afford all this on a meagre senator's salary?"
The senator smiled knowingly and took him to the window.
"Can you see the river?"
"Yes"
"Can you see the bridge over it?"
"Of course", said the minister.
"10 per cent", said the senator smugly.
Some time later, he had occasion to pay a return visit. The Indian minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to his house, the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built, glittering with precious art, hundreds of servants etc. etc.
"How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in RS?', he asked.
The minister called him to the window.
"See the river over there?"
"Sure", cried the senator.
"Can you see the bridge over it?"
The senator looked, was confused, peered closely and said - "No, I don't see any bridge."
"100 percent", said the minister!!
Submitted By Swapnil
So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he didn't know how to put it in English..
He went near the guy. Shouted "follow me". The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted "Don't follow me" and went inside the class...
Submitted By Aryan
Haathi falls in Love with Cheenti, but Cheenti's parents were against their marriage. Guess why?
They gave a Solid Reason: Kehnde Munde de dand Bahar ne.
Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
Q. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
A. The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.
Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
A: The door won't close
ek haathi swimming kar raha hota hai,
cheenti aati hai aur haathi se kehti hai "abe agar maa ka doodh piya hai tho bahar nikal" .
haathi soch ta hai, arre yaar cheenti hi to hai, ignore kar deta hain.
phir se cheenti aati hai, aur bolti hai haathi se "bahar aa varna ek thapaar marrongi mar jayega". haathi ko gusaa aa jaatha hai, aur voh bahar aane lagta hai... ..
phir cheenti kehthi "abe bataa rah, main toh sirf yeh check kar rahi thi ke tune meri swimming trunk toh nahin pehna swimming ke liye"
Two ants were sitting on the tree after taking a lunch.An elephant runs below the tree because of which one ant fell down on that elephant.Then the other ant said "daba saale ko"
Aishwarya rai was shooting for coke, At the break she was having a coke standing under a tree .
A male ant and his son were just near the edge of the tree branch.
By mistake the ant son fell into hte coke bottle the ant father went and said something to aishwarya and aishwarya fainted and fell down
unconscious
Ant said "tere coke mein mere baccha hai"
Once a ant and a elephant was eating in a restaurent in kerala... suddenly the ant dissappeared... the elephant went searching of the ant ... finally he found the ant was in a temple without even seeing him.... how did he know the ant was in the temple..?
Ans: The elephant saw the ants FUBU Shoe Outside the temple
Q: once the elephant wanted to have some oranges he alongwith the ant went to the garden whr the guard saw them & fired twice once at the ant & then at the elephant, the ant died but the elephant
survived......why?
A: the 1st bullet easily missed the ant but the ant couldn't see his friend die so she came in way of the bullet & died.........
Its ants birthday, and both decide to go for a long drive on a bike...
inspite of elephants warning ant exceeds the speed limit..and both of them meet with an accident.. and elephant will be badly injured and will be
admitted in hospital...
ant comes running to the doctor saying doctor take my blood its b positive
One ant says there are three ants ahead of me and none behind me, the other ant says there are 2 ants behind me and none ahead of me... third ant says there are 2 ants ahead of me and one behind me... can u figure this one out?
well here is the answer... the middle ant is a liar..there are 3 ants standing in a line...
once there was a ant eating a sugar in some shop the shopkeeper was saying again and again but it was not listening him then an elephant came it asked him that not to eat the sugar and she stopped and then shopkeeper demanded him that i was saying him from so many time but u said once he stopped how comes? an elephant answered him that "gud nalon ishq meetha."
Two Ants were walking on a Road when they saw one Elephant coming from the opposite side.
One Ant told another ant. Let's go and beat him up.
Q. What did the other ant told her.
Ans. No forget it yaar, he is alone.
Once an ant and elephant were going on a new scooter. They met with an accident. The elephant was died but ant was alive. Why?
Because ant was wearing a helmet.
Once
there was an elephant walking on the edge of a valley,full of
water.The elephant fell into the water.So,what is the first thing he
will do?
Ans- Get wet!!
*An Ant saw strawberry juice & shouted: "WOW at last I visited the red sea!!"
**Two cockroaches were admitted in ICU,
The first Cockroach asked: "Raid???"
The second Cockroach replied: "No, Shoe!!!"
*Pappu sent a blank SMS to his wife, why?
He didn't want to talk to her!!!
A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background. She began her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, please stand up."
Right away, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Why do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"I don’t, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
Why don't sharks eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
@A man hit his brand new car in to the wall, why?
He wanted to test whether the airbags are working!!!
*Policeman caught a drunk man & asked: "Why your eyes are red?", The drunk man replied: "Actually i drunk tomato sauce while i was sleeping!!!"
*Two mad people were fighting on motorcycle, why?
They were arguing about 'who will sit near the window'!!!
*A drunk man opened his fridge & saw the jelly shaking.
So he said: "don't worry dear, i will not eat u now!!!"
What's a baby's motto?
If at first you don't succeed - cry, cry again!
* Pappu gave his mobile to his friend & said: "please send a SMS to my girlfriend, because my handwriting is very bad!!!
Dawood was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were "protecting." Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.`
Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over 50,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their goondas after the deaf collector.
The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.
The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where money is."
The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?"
The deaf man replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."
The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The hood pulls out a .38 and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. "Now ask him where the money is!"
The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?"
The deaf man replies, "The 50,000 is in a tree stump in Central Park."
The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about, and doesn't think you have the courage to pull the trigger."
A man was driving down a local street
one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right
through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn't
know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman
pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks away.
Policeman: "License, registration and proof of insurance please."
Driver: "Before I give it to you, tell me what the heck you stopped me
for, man."
Policeman: "Watch your tone sir; you ran the stop sign back there!"
Driver: "Man, I slowed down, what the heck is the difference?"
The police officer pulled out his night stick and began bonking it over
the mans head and shoulders. Bang! Bang! Womp! Bang!
Policeman: "Now, do you want me to just slow down or stop!!!?
One day, a little girl is
sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She
suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair
sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looks at her mother
and inquisitively asks,
"Why are some of your hairs white, mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something wrong and make me
cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then
said, "Momma, how come *all* of grandma's hairs are white?"
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East
assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was
very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually
unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I
planned to convey the message through 3 posters...
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally
exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third,
our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all
over the place"
That should have worked," said the friend. The salesman replied, "Well,
not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read
from right to left..."
At the end of the school year a kindergarten
teacher was receiving gifts from her class. The florist's son handed her
a gift. She shook it and said, "I bet I know what it is; Flowers."
"That's right!" the boy said, "but, how did you know?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," the teacher replied.
The next student was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held
her gift, shook it and said, "I bet I can guess what it is; A box of
sweets."
"That's right said the little girl, but how did you know?"
"Oh, I've been around for many years," said the teacher proudly.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher
held he package, but it was leaking so she grabbed a drop off the
leaking contents with her finger and put it on her tongue for a taste
test.
"Is it wine?" the teacher asked.
"NOPE," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the
process, tasting a larger drop of the leaking package. "Is it
champagne?" she asked.
"NO MAM," he replied, with even more excitement!
The teacher with all her knowledge finally took one more big taste
before admitting, "I give up. What is it?"
With an giant grin the boy replied, “SURPRISE, It's a puppy!"
Because we learn from mistakes.